


Halo

by Wintersoldier16



Category: Captain America (Movies), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Attempted Murder, F/M, Implied/Referenced Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 12:48:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18620947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wintersoldier16/pseuds/Wintersoldier16
Summary: This is a song fic based off Halo by Beyoncé. Reader and Bucky meet under a traumatic experience. This is how life comes full circle and how angels aren't always found in heaven.





	Halo

Remember those walls I built?  
Well, baby they're tumbling down  
And they didn't even put up a fight  
They didn't even make a sound  
I found a way to let you in  
But, I never really had a doubt  
Standing in the light of your halo  
I got my angel now

It was early morning and the sun was just beginning to break through the curtains of your bedroom. Most days you tried to sleep in, but not today. This morning was different in so many ways, and you wanted to cherish it more than anything you had ever had before. All of it due to the man lying next to you, sleeping soundly, looking like a beautiful angel.

James Buchanan Barnes, aka Bucky Barnes, aka The Winter Soldier, had walked into your life two years ago and totally turned it upside down. Truth be told, you we’re scared of him. Not because of his reputation or what he had done in the past, but because you had almost, moments before you met, been killed by an abusive man and you couldn’t trust anyone again.

You ran from the apartment building, screaming at the top of your lungs, blood pouring from your body from the stab wounds your boyfriend had already inflicted on you. You don’t know how far or long you ran, but you suddenly came to stop when you hit what felt like a brick wall, but said wall was warm and not a wall at all and you felt a large arm wrapping around you.

“Miss... you’re bleeding…” 

It was a man, and lord knows you didn’t want him touching you. Men couldn’t be trusted, and one was presently trying to kill you. No, you had to keep moving to stay alive or this man might kill you too and you didn’t want to die. You had so much left to live for.

“Let go of me!”

“You’re hurt!” The man said, his grip softening slightly.

“Let me go, don’t touch me, he’s gonna kill me!” 

“Who?” He looks down at you, seriousness in his eyes.

“James…” there was a female voice now standing next to you.

You make eye contact with her and she holds her arms out to you, “Let us help.” She says softly, her body relaxed, and her eyes told you she’d be a friend. You nod your head and James? arm dropped away from you and you freely moved into hers.

“Who hurt you?” She said the moment you weren’t secure in her hold.

“My boyfriend…”

“Is he tall, brown hair, wearing a red Nike shirt, and wielding a knife?” She said it like she was reading your mind.

“Yes…” 

“James…” The woman said like she was giving commanding him.

You hear more than you saw. The man wound his arm and you could hear metal grinding, like plates were shifting. The next thing you heard was police sirens and people asking you questions. An ambulance arrived and took you to the hospital, which you only agreed to go if the woman who was holding you, went alongside you. Everything else was a blur and when you woke up, you were lying in a bed finding the Black Widow sitting in a chair beside the bed.

“I’m Nat,” is the first thing she says when she sees you looking in her direction.

“You saved my life.”

“No, I helped...James saved you,” her eyes dart near the door and you see the man you kinda recognized as who you bumped into.

You gripped the bed sheet and pulled it up higher, to cover your body, and closing in on yourself. “Thank you,” it comes out a little shaky and your eyes drop to the bed not wanting to make contact.

James says nothing but gives you a soft smile that you can’t see. He leaves shortly thereafter, and once he’s gone you cry until there’s nothing left inside you.

It's like I've been awakened  
Every rule I had you breakin'  
It's the risk that I'm taking  
I ain't never gonna shut you out!

You smile at him as the memory fades. He looks so beautiful in his sleep. You reach out and move some hair from his face and brush it back behind his ear, trying your best not to wake him, but you want to see him...all of him. His scruffy face, his beautiful lips, the indent in his chin that the stubble doesn’t always hide. Everything that makes this man who he is, you want to see, committing it to memory should you ever need to look back on it again.

Everywhere I'm looking now  
I'm surrounded by your embrace  
Baby, I can see your halo  
You know you're my saving grace  
You're everything I need and more  
It's written all over your face  
Baby, I can feel your halo  
Pray it won't fade away

“Put your hands out in front of you,” Nat tells you sternly.

You sigh and roll your eyes, and defiantly sit down on the ground.

“That’s the exact opposite of what I told you to do.”

“Nat, I can’t! I’m not like you!” You bring your knees to your chest and wrap your arms around your legs. 

Your friend walks over and kneels in front of you, “I don’t need you to be just like me,” she says softly and reaches out and places her hand on your shoulder, “I just need you to be able to take care of yourself.”

You look up at her, tears were running down your face. “You think I’m weak...you all do!” 

“None of us think that.” James appears out of nowhere and is currently standing behind Nat, keeping his distance from you. “We just want you to be able to defend yourself against anyone that might do you harm.” 

“There’s more out there now that you’re here with us,” Nat warns, hoping to get you to see the bigger picture.

“I just can’t fight you, Nat. You’re all I got…”

“What about me?” James lowers himself to your height but comes no closer. “Would you be able to fight me, learn from me? Nat did, once. I could teach you, too.” He offers, his blue eyes staring into yours.

Nat smirks at you, but nods, “I think you could learn a lot from him,” she throws you a wink.

“And there will be plenty of people around so you’re never uncomfortable and if you are we’ll stop immediately,” James adds, knowing your unease with men.

You look at them, their eyes watching yours, waiting for your response. “Okay…” you agree, making Nat and James smile back at you. “But not before we eat!”

“Doll, you read my mind,” James says, his demeanor easing from just the simplest of words.

I can feel your halo, halo, halo  
I can see your halo, halo, halo  
I can feel your halo, halo, halo  
I can see your halo, halo...  
Halo, ooh ooh…

You quietly remove yourself from the bed, watching Bucky stir a slight bit, as you carefully extracted yourself from the bed. He had just come back from a mission and you didn’t want to disturb his sleep by getting out of bed. You wish he could see the smile that graced your face at your own success of leaving the bed quietly without disruption, since his super soldier hearing made it impossible to sneak around much. Maybe another time. Right now, your beautiful man needed his rest.

The kitchen was just as you left it, the dinner plates still in the sink and uneaten food on the stove. The two of you hurried through your meal, the importance of him being in your apartment not escaping either of you, neither of you were letting another moment pass you by, both of you so caught up in the moment, everything else was left for another place and time. 

Last night was the first time he’d been in your apartment. Most of your time was spent between his place or the many areas of the compound that were up for use. Your space was yours and the only place you totally felt at ease. It was the only area in the compound Bucky was never allowed to go, but last night you allowed him entrance and even made him a homecoming dinner. The entire thing was very domestic and was a new step in your ever-growing relationship, a step you know you needed to take.

Hit me like a ray of sun  
Burning through my darkest night  
You're the only one that I want  
Think I'm addicted to your light  
I swore I'd never fall again  
But this don't even feel like falling  
Gravity can't begin to pull me back to the ground again

“You know he likes you, right?” Nat asks from across the kitchen island.

You look up from your plate of food with furrowed eyebrows, “Who likes me?”

“James,” she grins brightly.

You look over to the common room and see Bucky, Steve, and Sam, all sitting around the television having a heated discussion about Thor’s hammer and who really should have the power to wield it. You chuckle in amusement and shake your head with a smile, before bringing you attention back to your plate of food, shoving another forkful in your mouth.

“Bucky...is my training partner, nothing more.” 

“But he likes you,” she leans into the counter and gets closer to you.

“As a friend, Nat. That’s all…”

“You don’t think you deserve him, do you?” She steals a fry from your plate.

You lower your head and look down at the items still left for you to eat, “I’m damaged goods, and I don’t trust very well…” 

“Sounds like you two have something in common,” she replies with a smile.

You glance a look over at the men and your eyes are met with Bucky’s. He smiles and nods at you, making you blush and smile back.

“See...I told you, he likes you.” Nat grins at seeing the exchange.

You look away from Bucky and direct your gaze back to Nat, glaring hard at your friend. “He’s not interested in me...he’s only being nice.”

“The Winter Soldier nice?” She laughs at your assessment of the man in question. “Is he nice when he’s training you? Or how nice is he when you’re not doing as instructed? Tell me...how nice was he the night he saved your life? Do you even remember what he did to him?”

Your face falls and morphs into something small and closed off. You do remember the night you met and what James had done to your then boyfriend, that was dead set on killing you.

Upon seeing the man coming down the sidewalk, knife out ready to attack, James went into soldier mode, heading straight for the crazed fool that was coming for you. Your boyfriend didn’t know what hit him, and James not only disarmed him, but gave him a beating that left his face forever transformed, making sure no one would ever look upon him again and see anything other than a monster.

“I’m pretty sure he’s loved you since he saw you that night,” Nat’s says bringing you back into the moment.

“I don’t deserve his like or his love…” you whisper as a tear falls from your eye.

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Nat’s now moved to stand next to you. “You deserve it just as much as he does, and I think given your shared life experience of abuse and hurt, you’d be very good for each other and might even have your story book ending.”

You hear a laugh from the men gathered in the living room and know who it belongs too. Your eyes gravitate towards it and see Bucky laughing and smiling, happiness coursing through his body. 

God, you really did like him, but you couldn’t act on it. Your walls were built up hard and strong and there was no way you could ever let anyone in again, no matter how nice and sweet, and beautiful they were. It’d be a long time before you trusted another man again.

“Thanks, Nat…but you’re wrong. Bucky will never want someone as damaged as me.”

And it's like I've been awakened  
Every rule I had you breakin'  
It's the risk that I'm taking  
I'm never gonna shut you out!

The coffee had just finished brewing when you felt a metal arm wrap around your waist, followed by a warm body pressed against your back. You relaxed into him and closed your eyes, committing another precious moment to memory.

“Funny thing...I woke up and my girlfriend wasn’t there. Know anything about that?” He presses a soft kiss to the back of your neck.

You shiver from the feel of his scruffy beard on your skin. “I didn’t want to wake you. You looked so peaceful, like an angel. Thought you might need the extra sleep.” You turned around to face him, smiling brightly at the man you loved but had yet to say it to him.

“You sure you’re okay...I’m not overstepping?” A look of concern is plastered all over his face the moment you were looking at each other.

You slowly nod your head and wrap your arms around his neck, “I’m fine. I want this.”

Bucky loudly exhales but smiles at your confirmation. “I know this place is your sanctuary. I don’t want you to feel like I’m intruding on your boundaries.”

“Bucky…” you lean in and kiss his lips softly, “you wouldn’t be in here if I didn’t want you to be. I’m ready for you to have a place here with me.”

“You know, I’m totally happy with keeping things to my apartment. Nothing has to change.”

“But it does. To evolve as a couple, I have to let you in. I can’t continue to keep you at a distance and shut you out. I gotta do this, one hundred percent and this...my sanctuary...is the final piece of my wall coming down.”

Bucky gives you a toothy grin, his blue eyes sparkling like the ocean, “Thank you for trusting me.”

“Thank you for giving me someone to trust.”

Everywhere I'm looking now  
I'm surrounded by your embrace  
Baby, I can see your halo  
You know you're my saving grace  
You're everything I need and more  
It's written all over your face  
Baby, I can feel your halo  
Pray it won't fade away

“Can I hold your hand?” 

You look at Bucky sheepishly, his hand sitting on the couch next to you.

“I-uh…” 

“Never mind...it’s okay.” He places his hand back in his lap and turns his gaze to the television.

As far as first dates go, it really wasn’t bad. When he asked you out, you were hesitant to accept, but he assured you there wasn’t a need to go outside of your comfort zone. Bucky said the two of you could remain here in the compound, having a night in with F.R.I.D.A.Y monitoring closely. Should things go awry, she would immediately alert the other Avengers and they would quickly come to your rescue.

It sounded fool proof, so you agreed, and here you were...sitting on the couch with Bucky, watching Game of Thrones, relaxing after the wonderful meal he’d prepared for you.

“Bucky…” you look in his direction, “I-I don’t think I’m okay…”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y…” he says to the A.I.

“Shall I notify the others, Sergeant Barnes?” Her voice fills the room around you.

“No!” You exclaimed loudly, “I’m okay…”

Bucky’s confused, and his face shows just how much he doesn’t understand. “But you just said you’re not.”

You sigh, and your hand slowly creeps towards his, stopping before it makes contact. “I’m never gonna be okay...not after what happened,” you admit to him, finally confiding in someone other than Nat.

Bucky nods in understanding, having been on the receiving end of his own abusive past, “I get it...and I’ll never ask for more than you’re willing to give.”

You smile at him, your heart melting and a brick of your internal wall falls to the ground, “You’re an angel,” you say softly and place your hand on his.

“No... heaven lies within you, not me.”

I can feel your halo, halo, halo  
I can see your halo, halo, halo  
I can feel your halo, halo, halo  
I can see your halo, halo...  
Halo, ooh ooh...  
I can feel your halo, halo, halo  
I can see your halo, halo, halo  
I can feel your halo, halo, halo  
I can see your halo, halo...  
Halo, ooh ooh...  
Halo, ooh ooh...  
Halo, ooh ooh, oh…

“So, do you want to spend today at my place or yours?” Bucky asks, shoving a piece of bacon in his mouth.

You look around and think for a moment before deciding on a different course. “Let’s go out,” you grin back at him.

“You sure?” He quizzes, knowing this is all new territory for you.

“Yeah...I think after six months it’s time for us to actually leave the compound and have a real date away from here.”

“No rush. I do like anytime we spend together, no matter where we’re at.”

“I know, but I can’t be afraid of the outside world,” you lower your head and look down at the plate of food in front of you.

“Baby…” Bucky reaches out and softly touches your hand, a move you’ve grown accustomed to and permit him to do, “you don’t have to. None of us is forcing you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“I know...but it’s time. I’ve closed myself off from everyone out there...and as long as you’re with me I feel like I can take this step.” 

Bucky smiles and his thumb strokes the top of your hand, “You're stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

You chuckle and smirk back, “You’ve made me that way,” you wink at him.

“Nah, it was always there inside you. All I did was find it and bring it to the surface...you did everything else.”

“How’d I get so lucky?” You stare lovingly into his eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“To find someone like you?” 

“Fate,” he simply replies, “she dropped you right into my arms.”

“And I never want to leave them again.”

Everywhere I'm looking now  
I'm surrounded by your embrace  
Baby, I can see your halo  
You know you're my saving grace  
You're everything I need and more  
It's written all over your face  
Baby, I can feel your halo  
Pray it won't fade away

“I can’t dance.”

“Neither can Steve,” Bucky laughs, grabbing your hand and leading you to the center of the room.

“I’m not Steve.”

“And thank God for that or this would be awkward as hell!” He turns to face you and puts his hand on your waist.

You shiver at his hand placement and Bucky immediately removes it, not wanting you to be uncomfortable.

“Sorry,” he quickly apologizes, knowing he forgot to ask for permission.

“It-it’s okay…, god! You think I’d get over this!” You become upset with how you reacted to his hand on your body.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Bucky reassures you, “I’m the one who didn’t ask to touch you...it was my fault.”

“But my reaction was mine! You’d think after all this time together I’d be used to your touch.”

“You can’t erase trauma,” Bucky says, knowing all too well how much his past shaped his present, “but we can learn from it.”

“I’m trying…” you look down at the floor underneath you.

“And you’re doing an amazing job. I remember a time when you wouldn’t look at me or didn’t want me in your personal space. Now we go on dates around the compound and spend lots of fun times together. Every day is a challenge, and you handle it with style and grace. I’m so proud of the person you’re learning to become.”

You look up at him and give him a half smile, “You really know how to charm a woman, don’t you?”

“I’m afraid I ran outta charm in the forties...it hasn’t found its way back to me.”

You gave Bucky a toothy smile and reached down grabbing his hand and placing it back on your hip. “I believe you promised me a dance.” 

Bucky straightened himself and gently grabbed your other hand in his. “Anything, for my best girl!”

I can feel your halo, halo, halo  
I can see your halo, halo, halo  
I can feel your halo, halo, halo  
I can see your halo, halo...  
Halo, ooh oh...  
I can feel your halo, halo, halo  
I can see your halo, halo, halo  
I can feel your halo, halo, halo  
I can see your halo, halo...  
Halo, ooh oh... 

“I love you.”

You stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, taken back by his words. The rest of the world going on around you, but time stood still for you and cemented you in place.

“I’m sorry...should I-I... forget I said that,” Bucky stutters through his words, regret starting to seep in.

You swallow hard and take one step closer to him, closing the slight distance between you. “You love me?”

He stares into your eyes and nods in confirmation. “Yes.”

“You know where we’re standing?” You grab his hand in yours, using it to ground yourself from the emotions that have suddenly surfaced. “This is where we met.”

Bucky looks around and even though it’s daytime and not night, he does recognize some of the buildings and signage from that fateful day. The one that brought you together.

“I didn’t realize…”

“It’s okay...life always brings us full circle, doesn’t it,” you give a lighthearted laugh.

“Sometimes it does,” he agrees and pulls you into a tight hug.

“I never did thank you...for saving my life.” 

“Baby, you’ve thanked me enough, many times over. I just never needed you to say the actual words.” 

He’s right and you know it. The proof has never been clearer to you, standing here with the man you love in the place it all began, his arms wrapped around you. 

Two years after being attacked by someone you thought loved you, you’ve found true love in the man that rescued you and saved your life. Bucky has been your knight in shining armor…your angel, saving you from the moment you ended up in his arms.

“Thank you, for saving me...every time I’ve fallen,” the tears have started to fall from your eyes.

“I’ll always be there to save you, I love you too much to let you fail.” He kisses the top of your head, doing his best to comfort you.

You felt safe in his arms, more so now then you did the first time you were standing in this spot with him. You didn’t ever want to look at this place as you had before. It was time to change the scenery and make this a place of happiness instead of the horror that had tarnished it from the start. It was time to make a new memory to change the one from the past.

“And I love you too, Bucky,” you confess for the first time out loud, “I always will.”

“Yeah?” He pulls back, grinning from ear to ear, his face shinning in the sun.

“You’re my angel…now and forever.”

-Sometimes angels are just ordinary people that help us believe in miracles again.


End file.
